The One Where I Got A Toddler

Three years ago today I was the size of beached whale - no, make that a pregnant-with-twins beached whale and desperate for the parasite living in my tummy to be out. Much as I feared labour (when I say fear I mean sheer whitecold terror) - the idea of one more day waddling around carrying my 20 kilo protrusion was too much to bear. Fast forward 3 years and there are times I wish I could shove DD back in there if only for the peace and quiet it would afford - aah the quiet.... almost forgotten what it was like pre-child.

DD turns 3 tomorrow - and we having a party at McDonalds B-sar, the theme is ladybirds so everything from the invites to the napkins, to paper plates are ladybird themed. Dont ask why - DD is into bugs of every kind - she can pick up lizards without flinching and dangle them in my face with a "LOOK MUMMA - ITS A LIZARD" - erm yes dear but get it out of my eyeball, its licking my eyelashes. She chased a cockroach the other day assisting us in gettin rid of it but when we whacked it - repeatedly - she was close to tears saying "we supposed to CHASE it only mumma...dont beat it". Yup my luck I get the daughter who's a wildlife and pestilence fan.

DD's 3 year report:-

a.Hugs still doled out very grudgingly and that too only if we beg, weep and/or bribe. She squirms to get away from our cuddles with an admonition of "ENnough mumma/acha go away" which could damage more fragile egos than that of her father and me.
b.Loves ordering everyone about and telling them off - and has to be told constantly to use her nice voice - then she becomes sarcastically sweet. Her facial expressions crack us up especially the wide eyes and eyebrows pushed straight up to the hairline when she wants to make something seem more more-ish than it really is.
c.Still awakes at 3.30am yelling for milk and will not wait for more than a millisecond for a response of some sort before the decibel levels go up 100-fold - patience zero my little missy.
d. She often cries so much she pukes (especially when she doesnt want to sleep) so we keep a bucket nearby - the other day after puking out the contents of her dinner she looked over at me having a coughing fit and said "If you want to vomit you can share my bucket mumma". Makes it all worthwhile doesnt it.

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough & ready years
Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is - SHE.
- Elvis Costello

She is in turns delightful, dramatic, dazzling, defiant, dodgy and devious. She has turned our lives upside down, she has totally made us focus on what is important - HER. But good god do I ever recommend having kids - its the best. Happy 3rd Birthday Munchkin - Love Mumma.