Me and Valentino

14th Feb 1985, Cheltenham UK

Me 15 yrs, with a bog brush hairdo, a monobrow and legs that had never seen an epilady and yet convinced I was the coolest thing since Sheena Easton. In my trembling clammy hand an anonymous valentine card. Convinced it was from a guy named David who I thought was hunk-a-licious, I made cow eyes at him for the first 4 periods of the day. At lunch I was with my girlfriends and he came over and sat next to me ! I cannot explain the feeling of wanting to pee in my pants, my heart trying to leap out of my eyeballs and my stomach doing the cucaracha all at the same time - but thats what I felt. Then he leaned over and said "Colin sent you a valentine's card and he asks me to ask you to meet him at the music rooms after lunch". Colin? 115 pound, pimply, white the colour of kurau flesh, teeth all over the place dork and I mean DORK. End Result - HUUuumiliation. Needless to say I went no where near the music rooms that day.

14th Feb 1993, Perth Australia

Me 23 yrs - decidedly improved from the last scene - well at least I'd lost the bog brush hairdo. sitting at my desk in a law firm. Huge bouquet of flowers on my desk with a note stating "I'm smitten" - not signed. I didnt need to guess who it was from, his wife was on the phone with me accusing me of all sorts of stuff. She was completely wrong of course and I wanted to laugh but thought she might come over and rip my head open so I tried to soothe her. Told her it wasnt me her husband (our senior partner who looked like George Clooney) was after it was another lawyer - at least that was what the office gossip said. Got off the phone with her - marched into his office and handed him back his bouquet and said coldly "I think this came to me by mistake". He said "No it didnt". End Result:- Shock.

14th Feb 2002 - Petaling Jaya

Me - 32 yrs - just back from our honeymoon, legs having been epiladied within an inch of its life and sporting 2 eyebrows. Looking at DH over a candlelit dinner as he mumbled away about something. Then he said "I Love You", I said "Me Too". End Result - Mind numbing joy.

Happy Valentines All -- remember very little is needed to make a happy life.