Pet Cemetary

We got a fish for DD a couple of months ago -she named it Stingo (she pronounces it StinGO) but DH (predictably) suggested Nemo - so Nemo stuck. Nemo's still alive despite DD's non-commital feeding methods and loud knocking on the side of the bowl yelling "NEMO NEMO ITS ME DD - WAKE UP NEMO", Nemo's probably quietly gone potty and is in need of psychiatric care about now - but we'll never know coz he just keeps swimming round and round the damn bowl.

This is all part of DH's efforts to build up a pet repertoire to the ultimate parasite organism - a DOG ! The man will stop at nothing to get a canine in our house, my only saving grace at the moment is that we live in a condo and pets are banned.Before I go any further if you are a dog lover then offend not thy precious sensibilites and stop reading this post now. I dont have anything against DOGS! - I mean I love the Kleenex puppy as much as the next person - but an actual DOG! in our house? salivating, shedding, licking, exuding dog-fumes - I mean give me a break we already have a kid what do we need a DOG! for? I know there's a common understanding that a person who doesnt like DOGS! is not to be trusted, but trust me I'm perfectly normal and quite likeable and I dont like DOGS! - so sue me.
DH has got the little toe-rag on board as well on this and both of them are bleating away at me for a DOG! DOG! DOG!, DH even claiming the condo authorities (ie the sikh guard uncle and the malay grandpa guard) wont know we have a DOG! coz DD makes so much noise no one would hear a barking DOG!. Lets face it, I am not getting a DOG! so we need to put the gin bottle down and be practical. Further since I gave DH a child and have the scars to prove it - I think my word counts on this - NO DOG! ........wonder how much longer I can ride on those c-section scars.

DD has decided to turn into a tell-tale tit this week - is it developmental? or just another annoying inherent characteristic of my beloved offspring? She spends her time scampering from one person to the other telling on each of us with a sanctimonious tone and a holier than thou' expression. I told her not to tell tales and that nobody likes a tell-tale she looked at me and said " I dont like nobody - I want to beat nobody". There's that then.