Possession

We gave one of DD's empty toy container boxes to my dad for him to put his bits and bobs in - DD was furious - ie limbs flailing, eyeballs protruding kind of furious - that we hadnt asked her first. We tried to convince her that we had bought a new one specially for him and altho' it looked exactly like the purple coloured container boxes she owns it wasnt in fact hers (a lie of course as it was hers).

She eyeballed us suspiciously with that "you dont fool me for minute" look she has mastered then pottered off to her room and called us in 5 mins later to view her handiwork. She had taken her little name stickers (which we got for her books) and stuck them on all her container boxes, including her bed, mirror, cupboards, toy truck, and whatever else was within her reach. She said "NOW you wont get all mixed up isnt it mumma". DH and I were on the floor laughing at which point she stuck her name sticker on my forehead and said "you also belong to me mumma" ! ......which quite frankly scared the pants off me.

I baked my first cake in our new oven over the weekend - quite an achievement considering I'd bought the oven 6 months ago and was using it as an extra workspace. Finally dragged myself down to Taman Mayang to the cake shops to get all the ingredients and tools and decided to inaugurate the oven with Mrs Fernander's trusty old butter cake - which came out brilliant.There's nothing quite like the simple butter cake is there? get that right and you've mastered the essence of cake baking I think. So many cakes nowadays taste rubbish coz people scrimp on the ingredients. Mrs Fernander was of Dutch Burgher descent from Sri Lanka who used to teach cake making and icing from her home in Bangsar for 20 years during the 70's and 80's - she's long gone now, but her recipes are still solid gold.

She taught my mum and was a real stickler for being neat and getting things just right. She herself was always immaculately dressed and accesorized. I remember going with mum a couple of times to her baking class and being in awe of Mrs Fernander. The theme of her sitting room would change every 4 months ie she had a theme for summer, autumn, winter and spring! They dont make them like that anymore do they?

Festival of Lights

The festival of lights is around the corner and again Mumma Thush has made no "palagarams" ie kuih-muih. Quite a renegade mum me, will be offering up store bought rubbish for the festive season. Divali will be muted for us this year but for DD's sake we will get out the ole sparklers and let her have a go with that.

Last year she picked up the burnt out sticks and burnt her fingers and was furious with her father - somehow blaming him for her fingers. This year am sure she will find another scapegoat for her misdeamenors. She asked us what she is getting for Divali and we told her that she will be getting a whole lot of love. She replied "I get that every day what?".

I remember as a kid getting so excited when my grandma arrived on the train from Parit Buntar with huge tins of muruku, laddu, nei-urundeh, chippies, ghee biscuits with a cherry on top and other such sweet meats for all of us in the 'city'. She usually arrived 2 weeks before Divali and lined up the tins in the 'secret place" -NOT. We would be constantly nicking into her tins the entire 2 wks and by the time the big day arrived there would just be some crumbs at the bottom of the tin. We would always have open house on Divali day between 11 and 4pm and inevitably end up fighting the effects of rain which could always be counted upon to pour just as the guests started to arrive. It was all part of the fun of Divali. Our new clothes always ended up torn and muddy before the day was thru. One Divali we hired caterers who set up stalls around our garden. The ice-kacang man was our favourite and by the end of the evening we were wearing salwar kameezes with a touch of ice kacang...actually more than a touch - a whole swirl.

The festival of lights celebrates the victory of good over evil....may all our lives always be testament to the victory of good over evil. Happy Divali to All.

Days of Yore

So DD had a blast at Saujana - probably why she's ended up with a fever now. What is with kids and fevers? It seems to be a neverending cycle, no sooner is one finished another one starts. Short of locking them up in the house forever how do we prevent this? So tiring - for the mummies that is.

So I checked out Pavillion and its not my cup of tea - other than the doughnut mecca that is JCo (check out the queues at that joint - never knew doughnuts were such a "must-have"). The general ambience is not conducive to shopping.... or is the prices? Anyway I like my malls bustling and with lots of cheap and cheerful stuff to buy. And I rue the day Parkson decided to become an upmarket joint - everything you touch there now is upwards of RM400. Remember days of yore when you could pick up underwear for Rm8 for 3 undies? And a nice blouse would only set you back max RM70? Ah those were the days.

We are off to yet another open day at one of the kindies on our shortlist - kindergardens are getting very competitive now arent they? with open days, bake sales, fun fairs etc. Definitely a new phenomenon. Back then it was a case of "you want to come - come lah, dont want, dont". Most kindies were no nonsense joints where the teachers would eyeball you if you even so much as squeaked that you wanted your mumma - but now its all "maybe you can stay with your child for the first week so they get comfortable with their new environment etc.".....anyone who knows/has kids knows that the minute you stay they are going to think you are a permanent "take-along" to kindy. Dont do it people, drop and RUN - hey it worked for my mum. I was practically pushed out of the car at the gate of Tiny Tots Kindergarden in PJ with mum giving me the look that said "you'd better behave or ELSE" and me deciding life would not be worth living unless I plastered a smile on my face and went along cheerfully. Needless to say I enjoyed kindy tremendously and never once expected mum or dad to come along with me. In fact PTA meetings were anticipated with much gloom because there would be endless dissection of how I was performing etc. with mum trying to ferret out any whiff of laziness/bad behaviour on my part and the teacher nervously insisting I was a good girl. Of course mum never believed her and presumed she was trying to "cover" for me. How different nowadays when parents dont want to hear anything negative on their kids part and actually challenge the teacher to a duel if she as much as suggests that little darling is anything less than a genius/angel.

Selamat Hari Raya

Have you noticed that the festivities are rather muted this year? Wonder why that is? To me Raya is all about excess - excess cookies, excess kuihs, excess clothes shopping and loads of open houses to visit - its part of the season and to have that toned down takes the fun out of Raya.

For DD Raya is festive enough coz Mumma and Acha get to stay at home with HER - reason enough for a major celebration - cookies and kuih muih are optional. She was asked at school what her best friend's name was and she said "Mumma" ! ........ those apron strings are never going to be cut at this rate. My dad was telling DD that when she is big she must go to Oxford University (dad hoping granddaughter will be smarter than daughter) and she nodded her head enthusiastically and said "And mumma will come with me isnt it?". I guess she intends for me to go thru life with her. Puh-leese, am sure come her first date she wont be able to get rid of me fast enough....."mumma? mumma who?".

We are checking into The Saujana (Subang) for the long weekend - just for a change of scene - too lazy to drive far away for a holiday as we plan to go to Cameron around Divali....so given mine and DD love for hotels this will be a fun break. DD actually knows the difference between a 5 star and 3 star hotel. When we stayed at Sunway Lagoon Resort she declared it to a "very nice lotel" but the 3 star on at Pangkor was declared "a smelly lotel" - so yes she has standards my girl.

A friend of mine told me her sis-in-laws belief is that you must give your daughters all the best things in life - that way they come to expect only the best and thus will only marry a man who can take care of them well to the standard they've been used to and not some down-on-his-luck sap.......dont know if I agree with that but its an interesting approach.

Happy Raya to All Of You - Good Health and Good Cheer To All.

Sandcastles

Took DD to Pangkor two weeks ago - seeing as how she has a passionate interest in working out how much sand she can fill in her swimmers before she sinks - we think we have a physicist in the making here folks. Drove up to Lumut on Friday and took the ferry across to Pangkor and stayed at the Coral Bay Resort Pangkor. So the thing about Coral Bay Resort Pangkor is this - ITS RUBBISH, and if you're thinking of staying there - DONT. There are better ways to spend your RM260 a night.
The rooms were dirty, the food was revolting - creates a new definition for the word revolting, and the facilities were so far removed from the pics in the web-site - it goes to show how little you can rely on websites and advertising. We were thoroughly dissapointed and more than a little pissed off. Further the advertised 100 metres from the beach - while accurate - was not really a beach for swimming - it was where boats were docked for picking up passengers for island boat trips - very inappropriate for swimming as it was too deep. Thankfully Pangkor island in itself is so charming it made up for the the disappointment in the accomodation and we managed to get a cab and go to a "real beach" for the better part of our holiday there. On the plus side we had the best seafood I have ever had in my entire life at Restaurant Yee Lin in Pasir Bogak. The food was so tasty I'm still having spasms thinking about it - if you are ever in Pangkor this place is a must - you will not regret it.

DD has learnt that if you build your sandcastles too near to the shore they get swept away - a lesson for us all I think.

So here's an interesting fact (am reading Crunch Time by Mike Hanley & Adrian Monck and its really scaring me) - apparently if everyone in the world were to have the same standard of living as one enjoys in downtown Europe - the earth's resources as it stands at present can only sustain 2 billion people. The current population of the world stands at 6 billlion.Doesnt that statistic scare the pants off you? We have two choices- the ones who are living it up can tone it down a little to let the 4 billion get a bit of the pie OR we can get the 4 billion to voluntarily jump off a cliff - eliminating the problem. So you gonna tell them or me? At the heart of this lies the idea of sustainability - how can we make sure we have enough to go around - and what is enough for those of us who have enough? Also can we really blame the "have nots" for loathing the "haves"?

Did you know half of the world's population live on less than US$2 a day - US$2 a day. That's less than RM6.80 a day. Now lets see what can that buy you? - A loaf of white bread costs RM1.90, a nasi lemak costs you at best RM1, a bunch of spinach from the wet market would cost you RM1, a fish would cost you (at RM9 per kilo for the cheapest fish) maybe RM3 for one fish - so that's what you'd get a loaf of bread, 1 nasi lemak, 1 fish and 1 bunch of spinach for the day - never mind clothes, rent, amenities, education, medical expenses etc. And this is what half the world's population get to enjoy every day - that's half - ie 50% - ie its just luck of the draw that you and I happen to be on this side of the 50% fence - ie OMIGOD!

Ok we all know there are poor people and we all know we are privileged - but just think about these statistics at this basic level what do we spend a day compared to what The Others get to spend a day. Its hard not to be overwhelmed by the futility of it all - and its hard to know what we can do to make any difference, its hard not to feel like bashing your head against a brick wall. But just to be aware of the statistics in itself is surely a start - a way to shake us out of our stupor - and give us perspective - RM6.80 a day - thats not a life.

"There but for the grace of God go I" - never made more sense than it does now.

Mum

My mum was the most influential person in my life, every aspect of my life was somehow influenced by mum either in accordance with her wishes or as a direct reaction against what she wanted. Everything I do, say or think is somehow related to mum and my benchmark is still "what will mum say" or "bugger! mum's gonna kill me".

Mum was a strong, feisty, temperamental, beautiful, dramatic and exciting woman. She believed in doing her best, looking her best and being the best and was continually up our backsides to do the same thing. She never accepted mediocre and always wanted to be different from the norm. She lived each day to the fullest and was constantly on the go, she believed in using every moment of the day to the max - and couldnt stand to see anyone relaxing or as she put it "whiling away god given minutes". Her temper was legendary and could strike fear in even the strongest soul - but her temper always blew over and she'd be trying to make it up to the person she yelled at by cooking for them or caring for them in some practical way.

She was a teacher for 30 years and taught in boys' schools for the most part. A lasting memory I have is of her chasing a boy around the table with her slipper and then meeting up with the same boy many years later in a restaurant. The boy is now a successful lawyer and he leapt up to greet her (of course she didnt remember him) but he mentioned the slipper incident and mum said "ah yes you were a devil, good thing I whacked you - see how well you've turned out". The ex-student meekly said "yes teacher".

She would buy breakfast for the poorer boys who came in from the estates in Port Klang too early in morning to have breakfast as she said they couldnt concentrate in her class on an empty stomach. She would buy lice medicine for those with lice and make them use it and check that they wore underpants and socks. I recall going with her to Petaling Street to buy boxes of socks and underpants for her students. Mum wasnt one for "I Love You's" but her actions spoke louder than words.

She was incredibly witty and the hours she and I used to sit at the kitchen table hooting about stuff will always be the lasting memory I have of her. She had a sense of the ridiculous and was a bit of an actress - and she used to mimic people we knew to a tee. Her expressions and turn of phrase were matchless.There was never a dull moment with mum and having her as a mum was a bit like living with a tornado. The problem with living with a tornado is that once it passes you are left with an unnatural quiet which you cant quite get used to.

Mum passed away recently from cancer - a disease that ravaged her. It left her with precious little dignity and robbed her of her greatest love - being in motion and doing things for herself. It took away her looks and her sense of humour, but she never lost her commanding presence. Even in hospital in her last days she was getting me to buy currypuffs and vadais for the nurses as she felt they were too thin. She was always lecturing them on their English and spouting out on ways in which they could better themselves. The sheer force of her will would make the doctors and nurses take direction from her rather than the other way round. She was the driving force in our family - almost like the engine for the vehicle that was our family. We are hard pressed to know how to find our way in the coming weeks, months and years, yet we must and we must do it well as mum would have wanted us to go from strength to strength rather than break down.

I take solace in the fact that her voice is so deeply etched in my mind that she will always still be our reference point. She wanted red roses and white roses at her funeral and she said we should make it a short service and "dont all of you sweat over me and wail like some bad Tamil movie - I wont have it" and "You'd all better dress well and put a smile on your faces- there's no need to look like someone has died". And that was Mum in essence, it was always about pulling yourself together and soldiering on. "Who told you life was easy, get over it and make the best of things, and stop looking like a drowned rat" was one of her favourite phrases.

Mum I love you and I will miss you till the day I die. You are so much a part of me I cant say goodbye. Rest in peace my dearest dramatic, delightful mother until we meet again.

H-A-P-P-Y

A survey has been introduced in UK schools to work out a child's "happiness barometer" by giving them quizzes to ascertain their happiness levels. My only response to this is "bollocks"! Why on earth would you need to set quizzes for 6 year olds who are notoriously mercurial anyway to figure out whether they're happy - what earthly purpose would it serve. We all know kids can be down in the depths of dumps one minute and then be happy as a lark the very next. We also know that too much navel gazing isnt good for the soul - it makes one more anal than necessary. Kids need to learn early on to snap out of it and soldier on, skills that will set them up for life.

"Nobody Knows The Troubles I've Seen. Even fewer people care"

Lets face it when asked how you are - you are expected to give a snappy cheery response not a prolongued litany of your woes because no one really wants to hear it. So too much analysis on whether or not we are happy can only lead to misery. After all happiness is fleeting you only recognise it once its gone and if you overthink whether you are or are not happy at any given moment you're sure to be miserable. Happiness doesnt stand up to scrutiny.

Am sure you'd get answers on these quizzes like "I'm not happy coz mum didnt let me watch TV for 24 hours", or "I'm so happy because I got a nintendo xx".
Can you imagine if you had such quizzes for adults at their workplace? You'd have to reword the test to "Are you feeling happy today? a. Get lost b. What the... c. Give me more money d. Yes (I'm on prozac).

We need to get kids to look outwards rather than inwards surely - the true measure of a life well spent is spending it on something that is bigger than you and will outlast you. The sooner we teach kids this the better.